Trust me, I'm a Centurion. 😉

 

There is so much water under the bridge since that beautiful day I finally captured my dream. Just as I felt recovered enough to get back into training I caught my little toe on a cupboard while dashing around trying to tidy the house (that’ll teach me to clean). When I pulled it away it didn’t move back into position but stayed stuck out to the side at quite an angle(!!!!) before turning white. Meanwhile I cannot even swear it hurts so much and I mutter a ‘Jesus Christ’ through clenched teeth as I’m hopping outside to get an ice pack from the freezer, returning inside to wrap up the toe, hoik my foot onto the table, and rock back and forth weeping. My boy’s looking at me with no idea what’s just gone on nor what will happen next.

I couldn’t believe I was the same person who’d leveraged enough mental grit to finish that race, but there I was. To go 108 miles up the Pennine Way and only come away with some swollen feet and a single blister vs. walking through the lounge and rendering myself useless for six weeks, barring some adjusted rowing. Despite my angst in the aftermath I realised maybe I needed the rest – I mean a seven year training window is a bit much for anyone. Peaks and troughs to be realistic, but in the end I came out victorious so it all worked out in the end.

Toe’s back in action, and I’m training again for a sixth bash at Eryri marathon next month, so now my head’s in the game again I thought I’d share my wrap up thoughts as to how I finally pulled this off.

I realised there are a few major themes that are the foundation of all I’ve learned, and at the end I’ve added a bullet list of specific things that happened in the race. Hopefully all of this may help someone out there planning their own bash at Challenger South or another hundred miler.

I hope you smash every event you toe the line for (pun firmly intended!) If you believe it’s in you, it is.

Godspeed.

___

 

Know yourself. Retain your agency.

You’ve set your goal. You’ve trained your arse off, probably like me – for years. You’ve planned your approach and organised whatever processes and systems you’ll use to capture that dream. Trust it all. Every last thing. Do not second guess things you are certain of when the chimp moves in and sets up camp in your head, whether this is before or during your race. Imposter syndrome is a million times the bigger challenge than continuing to move yourself forward for 108 miles. Know this. Keep moving. Keep control of yourself and you will retain mastery over your doubts and ultimately, your race.

Fuel the tank properly or you’ll blow your engine

Part of me still can’t believe it, because this has been the most eye-opening thing I’ve figured out in the aftermath – above all else you need to get right, know how to fuel properly. Because if you get the fuelling wrong you will absolutely blow your own engine and it’s game over.

Now, have I mentioned Primula? Because, Primula! It genuinely was a missing link for me, after a whole lot of trial and error to discover what works for me fuelling-wise and it worked like a charm during the race. I suspect adding diet-controlled T2 diabetes to the mix probably made this factor a bit trickier for me to crack than the average bear, but I somehow pulled it off in June. I learned a lot this summer!

Think like a king

There’s a song (I actually believe it’s AI slop but I find it quite agreeable slop, to be fair) called Think Like a King that the Spotify algorithm served me at some point in the last year. It’s one of the many motivational songs I keep on my training playlists full of – naff to some, inspirational to me – lyrics about being strong, a legend, a champion, that sort of thing. I make it a point of listening to this kind of music when I train and race because it activates the warrior in my heart, rather than the soppy romantic who can easily get stuck in memories when I play music that holds deep meaning elsewhere in my world. It’s difficult to explain because not everyone interprets music the same way I do, but if this is how your own head works you may see how this could benefit you. I don’t get inspired by familiar popular songs in my training or racing, they drag my focus away and I lose my head game. The songs I’ve added to my Challenger South blogs are examples of how I use music for motivation.

Protect your peace

My son has Down’s syndrome. He’s a lovely, ebullient, energetic human who can also be very VERY loud and distracting, which my head battles constantly. Despite the immense and undeniable joy he brings me, when I am getting ready for a race I need my head clear and quiet. So I generally need to add a day or two in advance of any race, where he is looked after so I can then switch off and get into my race mode. That mode has always included engaging with the friends and fellow runners who’ve supported me over the many years I’ve been chasing these crazy trail dreams. There is a selective ‘noise’ that helps my racing and I seek it. On the contrary, there are people and situations that challenge my peace and I try to avoid allowing them access before a race. I didn’t do a very good job of that this year and I know that contributed to my head going wrong in the early miles after Hebden, but I learned all I need to know for next time. Fool me twice and all that…

Rehearse and memorise everything

There is nothing that happens in a Spine Race of any distance that you shouldn’t take the opportunity to anticipate and rehearse if you can. My favourite thing to practice was to re-create scenarios when out training with my pack. I’d think ‘ok, it’s started hammering down and I’m getting cold. What do I do? What kit will I need here? Where is it in my pack?’ I solved a whole lot of ‘that was a shit place to store this thing’ issues in advance and during the race I can only remember not being able to find my t-shirt (which was actually right where I was looking but I was so wack I couldn’t see it) and forgetting my watch charge lead (which was a freaking disaster and I will make it impossible for that to happen next time).

Also I had created a super Hebden admin checklist that I once again neglected to take out, but I had my ‘arrival routine’ so well memorised I executed it to perfection. Departure was another kettle of fish altogether, but I was flustered for a few reasons that I won’t bother going into as they serve no purpose in the grand scheme of things.

Be careful taking advice from people who don’t think in the same way as you

Experience is only as useful as it is applicable to you as an individual. What works for another runner may not work for you in the least. My (recently diagnosed thank feck because everything now makes sense) ADHD gives me hideous executive function and I’ve had a lifetime of countering this by creating complex systems that have helped me succeed – not only in running, but also in life in general. These systems may look overengineered to others (and are often so much they overwhelm me too) but when they work they bloody well work. They are one trusted method in which I anticipate and remove decision-making in a race which then leaves my remaining head space available for the problem-solving I can’t actually predict. In June I made the mistake of thinking someone else’s timekeeping methods could potentially be better than my long tested ones in advance of Challenger South, and nearly lost my finish as a result. So I urge you to be careful and trust yourself first and foremost. You are the person who will carry you across that finish line, no one else can do that for you.

A quick list of the good, the bad and the ugly

These things worked or didn’t work, so it’s worth it for me to record them for longevity. And for when I go back to have a bash at the North (yes that’s in the plan!)

• I need to pack and rehearse my drop bag to perfection, my Hebden kit explosion was rather something to behold!
• The garmin handheld was entirely not required and just gave me extra weight. My phone OS maps app was plenty for the digital backup in summer
• Carry a spare headlamp that takes real batteries, or buy one that takes either. The half charged batteries I had could have gone terribly wrong if they gave up the ghost any longer in advance of the sunrise
• I probably carried too much spare kit in the pack and should have checked and trusted the forecast (and myself!) a bit more
• The clip on hip belt I bought as an add on was genius. Handy pockets are everything.
• I’ve written a cryptic ‘nettles’ on my list which can only mean I was nettled and it bloody HURT so I guess this one is ‘don’t get nettled!’
• If you patch up a blister correctly it will still hurt a lot but that pain will not get worse. You have to carry it along with you. Find a way to manage the pain and you're gold.
• 15 mile two layer sock changes and re-lube was total sorcery and I only had one small blister in the end of the race. My feet started macerating though, so probably would be better off with trench foot cream than I was with trailtoes
• Inov8 mudtalons have the best grip in the world on Pennine Way sludge and that was my best kit choice of the lot. They also elevated my feet a bit over the stones on the Cam High Road (the stones sort of slotted in between the lugs rather than making my foot twist and shift) which was additional sorcery
• Engo patches on the insoles (balls of my feet) worked well but where the seams overlapped it caused issues. Placement needs to be pristine. Check for glue balls under the patches if they are consistently getting wet, I got my single blister from a glue ball I didn’t see.
• Carry squeezy food, you cannot chew well (I cannot chew at all) while climbing hills or really exerting yourself on tricky or technical terrain. The gels I brought for the Bleaklow crossing was a win and started me off on the right foot.
• Primula cheese is the giver of life and was so easy to eat!!! Boiled salted potatoes were also amazing.
• I started with 3l liquid and didn't regret it. Squash is a great addition in later miles. Easy to grab the odd can from Nicky's (if she’ll still be there), Lothersdale, tuck shop, Gargrave. I’ve since discovered a tiny 20x concentrated squash by Lidl (stored at the till), that is coming along hereafter on every ultra
• It is ok to prefer running by yourself if the reason you run at all is to get head space. Commit to executing your own plan if that's what your head requires and don’t feel guilty for declining company. I nearly lost my way not sticking to this.
• Learn how to calculate pace requirements on the fly and it will quash so much worry. My mates were worried about my ETA showing over time on the tracker while I knew exactly how much time and mileage I had left and how I would execute this. Don't panic, even if things appear to be burning down around you from someone else’s viewpoint - the tracker is only an algorithm making assumptions about your capability. Only you know what is left in the tank.
• Use a power walking playlist that includes songs that keep you from plodding. I trained with mine that has pacing for flats and hills, and knew exacty how fast I could cover the final 14 miles if only walking to the tempo.
• Retain easy access to foot care, warm things, wipes, headlamp and batteries. Tape off flapping straps if they will annoy you. Add padding to places the pack rubs. Train all of this and you will succeed.

As it says on the mug gifted to me by two of those inspiring, incredible running friends: 'Trust me, I'm a Centurion.' 😉